Épisode Naomi S03E06 - Skins Saison 3

Naomi dort. Un pied se glisse dans sa bouche. Elle se réveille en sursaut. Elle trouve un mec dans son lit, un soi-disant ami de sa mère. Elle sort nue de son lit et quitte la pièce.

Elle retrouve sa mère à la cuisine qui discute avec d'autres gens par rapport à une banane. Elle confronte sa mère au sujet de l'homme dans son lit. Frustrée de sa réponse sur la vie en communauté, elle part.

Elle se retrouve dans une foule d'élèves où elle croise le regard d'Emily.

Assise sur un escalier à l'extérieur, elle fume avec son prof. Ils discutent de tout en rien. La sonnerie retentit, le prof s'en va.

Les élèves se réunissent. Cook fait le malin avec les étudiantes en esthétique, Effy s'en va. Emily vient s'asseoir à côté de Naomi. Subitement les lumières s'éteignent, Doug fait une mise en scène stupide. La Directrice rallume les lumières et annonce l'élection prochaine d'un président des élèves.

Naomi refuse de se présenter même si Emily la pousse à le faire. Naomi lui demande de la fermer, Emily s'en va à l'approche de Cook. Cook vient faire des avances à Naomi. Celle-ci lui dit qu'il a autant de chance de la sauter que de gagner les élections démocratiquement. Celui-ci prend cela comme un pari et accepte.

Doug prend les inscriptions auprès d'un élève. Cook arrive, il semble surpris. Naomi espionne par la fenêtre. Elle tombe lorsque l'autre candidat sort. Cook sort aussi en riant de la voir sur le sol. Elle se relève, et Cook lui refait des avances sexuelles qu'elle refuse une fois de plus.

Le prof qui fumait plus tôt propose à Naomi de la raccompagner en voiture, qui s'annonce être un taudis. Il peine à la faire démarrer, mais il ne réussit pas. Naomi le raccompagne donc à vélo.

Ils discutent politique. Il tente de la convaincre de participer aux élections. La mère de Naomi fait de grands signes à la fenêtre, Naomi s'éclipse rapidement.

Elle entre dans la maison. C'est la guerre entre les pensionnaires. Naomi rejoint sa mère qui est toute contente de la voir avec un homme. Lorsque Naomi comprend que sa mère ne connait même pas le nom du bébé qu'elle tient dans ses bras, elle monte dans sa chambre.

Emily est déjà assise sur le lit et lui remet une feuille d'inscription pour les élections. Naomi la rejette sèchement, Emily sort. Elle revient aussitôt, pour lui expliquer qu'elle ne passe pas tout son temps à vouloir coucher avec elle.

Étendues sur le sol, elles discutent de la campagne. Elles se relèvent peu à peu pour boire. Naomi veut s'informer sur comment les lesbiennes font l'amour. Emily avoue ne jamais l'avoir fait, mais lui fait part de ses hypothèses. Elles se recouchent sur le sol et continuent à bien rire de la situation.

Le jour se lève, les deux filles dorment dans le même lit. Naomi se réveille et touche les cheveux d'Emily. Elle sort du lit et se parle toute seule. Elle quitte la pièce, pressée de se retrouver loin d'Emily.

Elle arrive au lycée en vélo. Elle se gare près de Freddie qui regarde un rassemblement formé par Cook et JJ. Freddie explique qu'il est fâché contre Cook parce qu'il a eu Effy.

Emily rejoint Naomi qui pousse son vélo. Naomi ne veut pas donner d'espoir à Emily, mais celle lui lui explique avoir compris et veut simplement l'aider à battre Cook.

C'est l'heure des discours. L'autre candidat nous donne une chanson rap totalement inutile. Naomi explique clairement ses buts et Cook se contente de fumer un joint, rapidement éteint par la Directrice.

Naomi accroche des affiches, puis elle se décide à faire un discours à la cafétéria. Cook l'interrompt pour donner des pommes et des poires. Naomi et Cook se confrontent, mais Emily se mêle et Cook se moque d'elles. Il est acclamé par les élèves, Naomi sort malgré les supplications d'Emily.

Naomi entre en pleurs dans le bureau du prof. Celui-ci la réconforte. Naomi se questionne. Elle trouve qu'il est le seul mec gentil et que tous les autres sont des cons. Le prof l'embrasse et Naomi le repousse et pète un câble. Elle sort en pleurant.

Dans sa chambre, Naomi pleure. Elle ouvre ses couvertures et trouve une note laissée par Emily. Elle la chiffonne et la lance dans la pièce... Après un moment, elle reprend le papier et le relie...

Elle se réveille au matin, le papier est toujours dans ses mains. Elle a de l'encre du papier sur le visage... On peut lire Emily. Elle décide d'appeler celle-ci pour la voir.

Elles vont faire du vélo dans la campagne. Elles s'arrêtent près d'un lac. Emily se déshabille et convainc Naomi de faire de même. Elle se chamaille amicalement et Naomi pousse Emily dans l'eau. Elle plonge ensuite à son tour.

La nuit tombe et elles fument autour d'un feu. Elles discutent. Il pleut des cordes, elles sont songeuse. Emily prend la main de Naomi. Elle lui propose de faire une soufflette mais Naomi refuse. Cependant, Emily allume le joint et la convainc d'essayer. Elles font la soufflette. Puis elles se regardent et Naomi l'embrasse. Emily lui rend ses baisers, mais Naomi semble réticente. Naomi stoppe et Emily la rassure. Elles se déshabillent et s'embrassent. Elles font l'amour.

La pluie cesse, Naomi part avec son vélo, laissant Emily seule à son réveil. Emily la rejoint en courant, frustrée. Elle la confronte, désirant des réponses. Naomi continue son chemin sans se retourner et laisse Emily en pleurs.

Naomi se douche et pleurs. Elle s'habille, songeuse. Elle rentre dans la chambre de sa mère et trouve son prof en train de coucher avec sa mère. Elle part furieuse, son prof la suivant totalement nu et s'excusant. Elle l'envoie se faire foutre et part à vélo.

Naomi regarde son téléphone. Doug et la Directrice entrent dans la classe où est Naomi. Elle se cache sous le bureau. Doug et la Directrice conviennent de saboter les élections en cachant les votes pour Cook. La Directrice cache les voies dans son soutien-gorge.

Roulement de tambour. C'est l'annonce de la victoire de Naomi comme présidente. Naomi, désireuse de démocratie, dévoile à tous les voies cachées sur la directrice. Cook, nouveau gagnant, déclare une émeute. Naomi déclenche l'alarme d'incendie et regarde les élèves mettre le bazar avant de partir un peu plus loin, sous le regard d'Emily.

Le prof vient à sa rencontre et semble tout à fait en accord avec l'émeute. Naomi lui fait part de ces attentes totalement amicales dans leurs relations, le prof semble d'accord. Puis, Naomi approuve sa relation avec sa mère et lui demande d'aller parler avec elle.

Naomi voit Cook dans une classe. Elle entre et parle avec lui. Il lui dit qu'il a fait tout ça simplement pour la faire chier et coucher avec elle. Elle déclare n'avoir jamais dit ça, mais Cook insiste. Naomi l'embrasse subitement. Il la prend donc violemment sur un bureau. En plein plein début d'étreinte, Naomi arrête tout. Cook semble à l'aise avec tout ça. Naomi apprécie son geste et lui donne un baiser sur la joue avant de partir.

Les élèves continuent l'émeute et mettent feu à un véhicule. Naomi déambule tant bien que mal dans cette foule déchaînée.

Chez elle, elle est pensive. C'est tout à coup silencieux et calme. Sa mère lui dit qu'elle a mis à la porte tous les pensionnaires. Naomi soucieuse d'être seule, demande à sa mère si tout le monde est vraiment parti. On comprend que le prof est toujours là, mais que sinon tous sont partis. La mère de Naomi explique à celle-ci ce qu'était sa vie avant sa naissance et comment elle se sentait lorsqu'elle était enceinte. Elle lui avoue que grâce à elle, sa vie est un conte de fées. La mère de Naomi la quitte pour aller faire l'amour avec le prof. Naomi reste seule à la table de cuisine.

Naomi va chez Emily, celle-ci refuse de lui répondre. Naomi s'assoit devant la porte. Emily s'assoit de l'autre côté à l'intérieur. Naomi lui avoue ses sentiments difficilement. Elles pleurent. Emily glisse sa main par la trappe et prend celle de Naomi. Elles parlent de leurs sentiments d'une manière plus complexe, pour définir ce qu'elles veulent vraiment. Elles se serrent les mains et décident de rester assises ainsi un moment.

SKINS. 3x06

 

[Naomi’s bedroom] NAOMI: Jesus Christ. What the fuck?

MAN: (Waking up in her bed) Huh?

NAOMI: Jesus Christ! Who the fuck are you?

MAN: I’m a friend of your Mum’s… I had nowhere to kip. Sweetheart, isn’t she? Even if she doesn’t believe I’m the actual messiah.

NAOMI: Mum…! Mum! (Getting up of her bed) Who the hell does she think she is? This is bloody ridiculous, does nobody understand privacy? I’m naked. I sleep naked.

MAN: Nothing I haven’t seen before. You look like your mum, actually. You’ve even got the same haircut she has.

NAOMI: (Leaving the room) Mum!

 

[Kitchen] NAOMI’S MOTHER: (Looking at a banana) I can see why you find it offensive…

WOMAN: It’s not just the shape, it’s the skin…

NAOMI’S MOTHER: It’s a very aggressive texture. Positively patriarchal.

Man enters naked in the room, eating and listening to music.

WOMAN: Yes. Definitely patriarchal.

NAOMI: Mum. (Entering) Has anyone ever told you what a complete fucking cow you are?

NAOMI’S MOTHER: Plenty of people. Look at this would you, love? We’re thinking of banning it…

NAOMI: There’s a man. In my room. In my bed, mum!

NAOMI’S MOTHER: He had nowhere else to go. It’s called communal living, sweetie…

NAOMI: God! You’re so… irritating!

(Taking the banana, eating it, Naomi leaves the room)

NAOMI’S MOTHER: Kids… Immature…

 

Emily’s waiting for Naomi in front of high school. Naomi hurries up to avoid her.

She sits on stairs, outside.

KIERAN: Hi.

NAOMI: Hey.

KIERAN: (Smoking) I’m late. Am I late?

NAOMI: Course not… Besides, this is hardly an appointment is it?

KIERAN: Kept behind by Cruella De Ville.

NAOMI: And what did the college director want?

KIERAN: To send me on a motivation course… The Feeling Healing Teaching Program’me.

NAOMI: Fuck’s sake!

KIERAN: And guess what? I fucking hate teaching! So… How’s your mum? Still saving the world one lentil at a time?

NAOMI: Well, you know… Sometimes she’s up. Sometimes she’s down.

KIERAN: Sometimes she’s only half-way up, which is neither up nor down.

NAOMI: And the Mother Nature thing is getting tired. I’ve got 15 people living in my house, and none are paying rent!

KIERAN: Still, can’t be all bad. Made you, didn’t she? Though apparently Fred West’s daughter‘s a charm. Hope for us all, eh? Right so, that’s me. See you in assembly… Our glorious leader has summoned us all. You’re gonna like this…

NAOMI: Like what?

KIERAN: You’ll find out… Just be there, missy.

 

Students sit in a big room, Naomi joins Pandora and Effy. Effy and Freddie avoid each other.

NAOMI: What’s going on there?

EFFY: Nothing. (Pandora starts to talk) Shut up!

Looking at Cook.

COOK: Then you’ve got the shaft of your penis…

Effy gets up. Emily’s coming.

EMILY: Naomi. Hey!

Light is off.

DOUG: In ancient times before the now. There was an almighty blazing row between two kingdoms tall and proud. How to decide this without blood?

HEADMISTRESS: (Light is on) Right, settle down everyone… Thank you, Doug, fascinating introduction.

DOUG: No… But I’m not finished!

HEADMISTRESS: Yes, you are!

DOUG: Let’s put it to a vote! Bit of theatre, you know… Impact.

HEADMISTRESS: Ok, it’s simple. We want a student president. This will be a… democratically empowered position, for a talented individual, to proactively seek excellence in matters of student representation. And you, my little education consumers, will choose this president by vote. The election is next week so if you wish to stand, please see Doug after assembly.

DOUG: Can I just… I’ve got a whole rhyme worked out for that bit…

HEADMISTRESS: No. Please, no.

DOUG: I just thought you’d like it, it’s a clever pun on Doug, digging, and I’m awfully nasty about the Welsh…

 

[Corridor]NAOMI: You’ve got to be joking. I’m not going to help run this place.

EMILY: I don’t get it, why not? You really care about this stuff.

NAOMI: What stuff?

EMILY: Equality, environmentalism, feminism, I don’t ever want to shut my mouth-ism…

NAOMI: Great. You’re making me sound great.

EMILY: Come on. Come on, you know about politics, you’re always talking about it.

NAOMI: Emily. We’ve had about three conversations our entire lives. So the idea that you know I’m always talking about anything is ridiculous.

EMILY: (Leaving) Ok.

COOK: Morning ladies. AH, love is all around.

NAOMI: Piss off.

COOK: Naomikins, I’ve been thinking. You should see more cock.

NAOMI: Pardon?

COOK: Yeah… Me and you. We should go to it. Know what I’m saying?

NAOMI: Excuse me? Go to it?

COOK: Yeah. Definitely.

NAOMI: You’ve got about as much chance of fucking me as becoming the elected Student President of this dump.

COOK: Yeah? Well, I enjoy a challenge.

NAOMI: Yeah.

COOK: Babe… You’ve got a deal.

NAOMI: What? No, no, no, no, no. I didn’t mean it like that. I’m not going to…

COOK: Guaranteed a shag.

NAOMI: What? Oh fuck…

 

[Office]DOUG: Name?

BOY: Crispin.

DOUG: Second name?

BOY: No. That’s it sir. Just Crispin. Like Prince, Madonna, Cher, Lemar… Only Crispin. 

DOUG: And uh what are your policies, Crispin?

BOY: A tightening of college selection procedure. They let some awful shit in. (Door’s opening) Like him, for instance.

COOK: All right, Doug? Is this where you register to be president, yeah?

DOUG: You? President?

COOK: Yeah, man. Problem?

DOUG: Um… No, no… Fantastic a two-horse race! Yes! Let the best man win. Oggy oggy oggy! (Silence) Ok. So just fill the form in.

 

Naomi is looking behind the door. “Crispin” is leaving the room and makes Naomi fall on the floor.

NAOMI: Oh!

CRISPIN: Girls. Stupid. You’re all so stupid.

COOK: (Laughing at her) I can see your knickers.

NAOMI: You? President?

COOK: Why do people keep saying that? Me, president. You, my slave. Why you fighting it, Naomi? You want it. I want it. Let’s get together and feel alright.

NAOMI: You couldn’t make me feel all right if you stapled your tongue to my clit and stood on a cement mixer.

COOK: Too pussy to take a chance, little girl.

NAOMI: See you next time.

 

KIERAN: I… I was gonna ask you if you wanted a lift.

NAOMI: What?

KIERAN: You know, save your legs. Your wheels. Only if you…

NAOMI: You can give me a lift.

KIERAN: Great. Hang on. (Opening the door inside of the car) Mind the spring.

NAOMI: Where? Oh! This is some automobile you’ve got here.

KIERAN: Oh, yes! Would you believe it only cost me £2.50? And three tokens from the top of Weetabix packets.

NAOMI: Yeah. I really would believe that.

KIERAN: Come on, come on, come on… Naomi. Can you give me a lift on your bike?

 

[Street] KIERAN: It’s all part of her grand love note to Ofsted. It looks good to have a student president. Will that person have power?

NAOMI: Will they bollocks.

KIERAN: I ran for office once…

NAOMI: Yeah?

KIERAN: Oh, yes. You’re looking at the Workers Unite candidate, Bristol City Council Redland War, 1998.

NAOMI: I bet that went well for you.

KIERAN: I got six votes, and I knew three of them personally. But then, buoyed up to my success, I decided to dedicate my life to shaping the young minds of tomorrow. Only to discover that they don’t have minds, only mild jangling things between their ears.

NAOMI: Mild jangling things that are colour-co-ordinated to go with their shoes!

KIERAN: I think you should stand.

NAOMI: What? Why?

KIERAN: Come on. You’re the best, we both know it.

NAOMI: Is that a compliment? Are you complimenting me?

KIERAN: Oh, I’ve got a few compliments in me. Listen, is it my drug problem, or is someone waving at that window?

NAOMI: Oh, God. It’s my mum. Don’t look. Shit. She’s so embarrassing.

KIERAN: I want to meet this mythical creature.

NAOMI: No! Bye.

KIERAN: Right.

NAOMI: (Coming back, taking the paper for student president) Thanks.

 

MAN: You want to do something about this, girl. There is matter in the oven!

(Naomi enters in her house)

WOMAN: You are fungal matter!

MAN: This is your job to clean it.

WOMAN: How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? One. Me. Because I’m oppressed, yeah? You’re oppressing me!

MAN: The Messiah does not oppress, ok? He enlightens.

WOMAN: Yeah? I’ll fucking enlighten you, you patriarchal prick!

MAN: Jesus does not do fungus.

WOMAN: Oh, really, does he not do fungus? …

NAOMI’S MOTHER: (To Naomi, a baby in her arm) Hey. I was waving! You were with a man!

NAOMI: What is this? Surveillance culture?

NAOMI’S MOTHER: I was just saying. He looked nice.

NAOMI: He’s my politics teacher, alright?

NAOMI’S MOTHER: Ok. Just saying. Nice to see you with a guy. Makes a change. Anyway, do you want to come and help me feed…?

NAOMI: You don’t even know who you’re feeding?! This is our house, mum!

NAOMI’S MOTHER: Yeah, of course it is. I think someone stole the telly from your room. (Naomi leaves) Who are you? Who is this?

 

NAOMI: Jesus, is there never any peace?! (Emily’s sitting on Naomi’s bed) How did you get in here?

EMILY: This weird guy let me in. Looks a bit like Jesus?

NAOMI: It’s like a game of Christ-themed Guess Who in this house. What do you want?

EMILY: (Giving the paper for student president) Wanted to give you this.

NAOMI: You’re very annoying.

EMILY: Well. You seem to inspire it in me.

NAOMI: (Showing the other paper) Jinx.

EMILY: You’re going to run? Great. I’ll help you with the form.

NAOMI: No, Emily. I don’t need any help.

EMILY: Right. Ok. Well, see you. (Leaving then coming back) Just so you know, my first thought when I see you isn’t “I want to fuck that girl”.

NAOMI: No. I, huh…

EMILY: We’ve kissed. Twice. It was nice. But it’s also nice just being with you, when you’re not being a prick that this.

NAOMI: Thanks.

EMILY: You should run for President because I think you’d be good at it. It’s that simple, ok?

NAOMI: Ok. Then you should… stay.

EMILY: Thanks. I will.

 

Later. They’re both lying on the floor.

EMILY: I can just see it now… in lights. “Naomi, get to know me!”

NAOMI: I thought it was quite catchy.

EMILY: Yeah, well, so is AIDS.

NAOMI: Do you think I can do it?

EMILY: I think you can do anything.

NAOMI: Really? I’ve been wondering…

EMILY: Yeah?

NAOMI: What do lesbians… do? I mean, in bed.

EMILY: I know what you mean! But why would I know?

NAOMI: You’ve never…?

EMILY: No. I’ve never!

NAOMI: I mean… Is it all brogues and strap-ons, or…?

EMILY: No! I don’t know. They just do what we do to ourselves. Only to each other. Probably slightly more aggressively. And with, you know oils and stuff.

NAOMI: Oils, eh?

EMILY: Yeah. And stuff.

NAOMI: Oilssss.

EMILY: Yeah. Lots of it. Oils.

NAOMI: Where do you put it? Oils?

EMILY: On salad.

 

Naomi wakes up in her bed with Emily. She starts to touch her hair, then suddenly understand what she’s doing and gets up.

NAOMI: Fuck’s sake. What are you doing?

 

Naomi arrives at high school on her bike. There’s a big crowd, Cook’s taking.

COOK: I am Cook! Vote for me! Vote for non-stop partying!

NAOMI: (Joining Freddie) Oh, god.

COOK: Cook! Cook! Cook…

NAOMI: Who’s up there with him?

FREDDIE: JJ. Think I lost him.

NAOMI: What, JJ?

FREDDIE: Yeah, him too.

CROWD: Cook! Cook! Cook! Cook!

NAOMI: Is this about Effy?

FREDDIE: That obvious, is it?

NAOMI: So tell her.

FREDDIE: I did. It should make a difference when someone loves you. Shouldn’t it?

COOK: We love to party! We love to party! (Freddie leaves) Yeah!

CROWD: Cook! Cook! Cook! Cook! Cook! Cook! Cook! Cook! Cook!

 

Naomi’s walking next to her bike. Emily is just behind.

EMILY: Hi.

NAOMI: Hi.

EMILY: You left pretty early.

NAOMI: I had, um, things to do, you know?

EMILY: Well, I met your mum. She’s nice.

NAOMI: She’s a cliché.

EMILY: She’s a nice cliché.

NAOMI: Is she? (Stops) Emily, look.

EMILY: I forgot to tell you. I made these in anticipation. (Taking a poster with Naomi for president) Cool, huh? I got the message, Naomi. I’ll manage. But there’s one thing, though. Well, you can’t let him win now, can you?

COOK: (from the crowd) Cook before education! Sex before exams!

 

After. Naomi’s posters are on lockers. She’s giving them to the crowd.

NAOMI: I’m asking for one-to-one tuition to achieve your goals, work experience and…

 

CRISPIN: (Singing) My name’s Crispin, that’s my name. I don’t like chavs, that’s my game. If you vote for me, like a princess and a pea I’ll free you from their menace. Ah, yeah! A wigada-wigada-whack West Morningside!

Shits of papers are throwing on him.

DOUG: Next up, Naomi.

NAOMI: What this college need is somebody who’ll understand… Council has to mean something.

DOUG: Give a look to the man Cook!

CROWD: Cook! Cook! Cook! Cook!

Naomi is pasting up posters.

 

Naomi’s standing on a chair in the middle of the room.

NAOMI: Excuse me. Everyone. Can I just…? Can you listen, please?! (Silence) If you vote for me, I’ll make sure each and every one of your voices is heard. I’ll make it my business to get to know each…

COOK: Apples! (He’s getting applause by the crowd of students) Apples and pears! Get your apples! Apples and pears! Apples!

NAOMI: See, this is what you’ve got to decide. Do you want a comedy president…?

COOK: Banana!

NAOMI: You’re such a fucking joke!

COOK: I’m a joke? You’re fucking hilarious!

NAOMI: At least I care about something.

COOK: What’s so good about caring? No-one here cares. We just wanna party!

Students are applauding once more.

EMILY: Cook. Any chance you could be a cunt over there, do you think?

CRAWL: Ooooh!

NAOMI: Emily.

COOK: AH! That’s nice. Getting your girlfriend to hold your hand. (Laugh from students) Bit of moral support, yeah? Sweat, isn’t it?

NAOMI: Oh, fuck.

COOK: Sweet. Hey, Naomi. If I’m a joke, at least people can have a laugh… Caring is over-rated. Do you want to know my slogan? I’m Cook. Vote for me. I don’t give a fuck either.

CROWD: (Clapping) Cook! Cook! Cook! Cook!

Naomi takes her stuff and leaves.

EMILY: Naomi. Naomi. Naomi, wait. I didn’t mean to… I’m sorry.

NAOMI: Just leave me alone!

 

Naomi enters in her teacher’s office, crying.

NAOMI: I hate him! He just… He just…

KIERAN: AH, he’s a ball bag, right?

NAOMI: I was such a dick. Such a dick.

KIERAN: Oh, what’s a bit of public humiliation? I’m a teacher, I’m used to it.

NAOMI: Yeah. People fuck you up every day.

KIERAN: Yep. Every day. After a while you get to kind of like it. No, I’m serious. There. You look so much prettier when you smile.

NAOMI: I don’t get it. Why are you so nice and all other men are suck wankers?

KIERAN: Oh… Now you’ve got me.

He starts to kiss her.

NAOMI: What? What?! But you’re… Ugh, you’re old enough to be my dad!

KIERAN: Maths was never my strong suit, but I think, you know, not quite!

NAOMI: Fuck! You… Fuck! I thought you liked me!

KIERAN: I do. And I do.

NAOMI: What did you just do?

KIERAN: You wanted me to kiss you.

NAOMI: But I just… I wanted to trust you.

KIERAN: No, you can… (Naomi leaves) trust me.

 

Naomi cries in her bed. She’s finding a note, writing “Emily slept here”.

NAOMI: Fuck off!

 

After. She wakes up; Emily’s note is stick on Naomi’s cheek. “Emily” is written on it. She tries to make it disappear, and then takes her phone.

NAOMI: Can we go somewhere? Anywhere.

 

Emily and Naomi are doing bicycle near the forest. After. They’re in front of a river.

EMILY: Wow.

NAOMI: It’s lovely. It’s a lovely place.

EMILY: It’s one of my favourites.

She stars to take off her clothes.

NAOMI: I didn’t bring a swimming costume.

EMILY: Neither did I. The sun won’t shine forever.

NAOMI: Someone might be looking.

EMILY: Honey, your body ain’t that special.

NAOMI: Don’t look, ok?

EMILY: Fine.

NAOMI: (Taking her clothes off, laughing) I said don’t look!

EMILY: I wasn’t looking, you just…

NAOMI: You were looking. You were perving. You were looking.

EMILY: (Jumping into the river) Come on. Get in!

Naomi jumps too.

NAOMI: Oh, Jesus!

EMILY: It’s freezing!

 

After. Around fire, Naomi is drinking in the forest. Emily starts to smoke.

NAOMI: You all right, Em? Hello? Hello? You’re deaf or what?

EMILY: You know, that’s the first time you’ve asked me something.

NAOMI: What, today?

EMILY: Ever.

NAOMI: Well, answer it then. You all right?

EMILY: No, I’m having the worst time of my life. The weather’s shit. The company’s even worse.

NAOMI: Amen.

EMILY: It’s peaceful.

NAOMI: Yeah.

They hold each other’s hand.

EMILY: Do you wanna do blowbacks?

NAOMI: I never got blowbacks. Why can’t people just smoke the damn things straight?

EMILY: It’s fun. Have you even tried it?

NAOMI: No. But being all seeing, I already know it’s shit.

EMILY: Come on. Everything once.

NAOMI: Oh, fuck it. Go ahead and disappoint me.

They do the blowback. Then, Naomi starts to kiss Emily. Then, Emily kisses Naomi’s neck.

NAOMI: Say something.

EMILY: I’m all about experiments, me.

They take off each other’s clothes, and kiss again to make love finally.

 

Morning, after. Naomi is taking her bike and is going to leave while Emily’s sleeping. Emily wakes up and sees it.

EMILY: (Following Naomi) Twice! You’re going to do this to me, twice?! Naomi, no! You fucking stop right now!

NAOMI: What?

EMILY: Don’t you dare leave me in your bed again.

NAOMI: I’ve got to go.

EMILY: I know you, Naomi. I know you’re lonely. I think you need someone to want you. (Stopping to follow) Well, I do want you. So be brave. And want me back!

Naomi is walking away.

 

Naomi is crying while she’s taking her shower. She dresses up, looking at her in the mirror.

 

Opening her mother’s bedroom’s door.

NAOMI: Mum? Mum, I know it’s early but…

KIERAN: Naomi.

Her teacher and her mother had slept together, they’re still in bed.

NAOMI: This is my fucking house!

She leaves.

KIERAN: Naomi! For the love of God! (Following her) Stop will you! I came looking for you, to apologise. (Naomi leaves the house, her teacher still naked behind her) She was here. We got talking. She’s a nice… Naomi, please. I’m a fucking disaster, ok? I just… I’m lonely.

NAOMI: (Taking her bike) Fuck off!

 

Naomi is in a classroom, hesitating to call Emily. Doug and the headmistress enter into the room. Naomi hides under a table.

DOUG: Right. Well, these aren’t going to count themselves.

HEADMISTRESS: There’s one thing I want to make clear to you. That boy will not win.

DOUG: Cook? He might win. He seems very popular.

HEADMISTRESS: No, Doug. He will not win.

DOUG: Oh no, I mean… That goes against… I’m totally against that. Totally.

HEADMISTRESS: Don’t you have a career review assessment with me next week?

DOUG: Totally agree. He will not win.

HEADMISTRESS: Right. This is how it will work. Vote for Naomi, this pile. Vote for Crispin, this pile.

DOUG: Someone voted for Crispin?

HEADMISTRESS: (Putting the votes in her bra) Vote for Cook, this pile.

DOUG: Right. Right. I think we’re gonna need a bigger bra.

HEADMISTRESS: Shut up and get on with it.

 

DOUG: Drum roll, please. Thank you.

HEADMISTRESS: And the winner is… Naomi! Naomi, do you have a few words?

NAOMI: You should have more confidence.

HEADMISTRESS: What?

NAOMI: I mean, your tits are fine. Probably a bit flat, but no need to stuff your bra. (Taking votes out of the headmistress’ bra) Now, I’m not sure, but were these votes counted? (Reading) Cook, Cook, Cook, Cook.

HEADMISTRESS: Naomi. Stop the silliness. Celebrate. You’ve won.

NAOMI: No, Cook won. He’s our president.

COOK: And my first act as President of this school is to declare this riot open!

Naomi makes the ring bells.

JJ: Yeah!!

Students are doing the real mess, yelling and breaking stuffs.

KIERAN: So… Where does this go next? Burning all the gym equipment or shitting in the College Director’s desk? I tell you, I’d be up for either. I’m sorry.

NAOMI: You’re supposed to be flattered by my intention. But ultimately, honourably, unobtainable.

KIERAN: Yeah. A bit too flattered maybe. A bit too obtainable. A bit of a twat.

NAOMI: Yeah. Maybe. Do you like her?

KIERAN: Yeah. She’s… She’s right.

NAOMI: So go tell her, will you?

KIERAN: Yeah. Sure. Thanks!

 

Naomi is gonna leave but sees Cook in a room. She comes in.

COOK: I’m looking for three porno, two ninja stars and a butt plug that Kieran fucker confiscated.

NAOMI: Think you’ll be expelled for this?

COOK: No. They’ll have to explain why, wouldn’t they? I reckon, when this is over, they’ll try and pretend it never happened.

NAOMI: You’re probably right.

COOK: I only really entered to piss you off, obviously.

NAOMI: Obviously. You ever wish things were just simple?

COOK: Things are simple. I won. Now we get to willy waggle, yeah?

NAOMI: I never said…

COOK: Are you sure? Are you actually sure you never said because… Hang on. I think we should willy waggle. (Naomi starts to kiss him) They all come to the Cookie Monster in the end.

They kiss on table and on the floor.

NAOMI: Cook! Cook! This isn’t right.

COOK: What?

NAOMI: Sorry. It’s just isn’t a goer.

COOK: Fair enough.

NAOMI: Is that it? You’re not even going to try and convince me? Most guys would.

COOK: Most guys aren’t me, babe. You fancy me, I’m cool with it. So there’s obviously another reason why you won’t fuck me. And it’s probably a good one, because you’re, you know, clever.

NAOMI: (Kissing him on the cheek) You’re a lot nicer than most people think, aren’t you, Cook?

COOK: Fuck you.

NAOMI: Fuck you right back.

She leaves.

 

Naomi is walking in the street, the real mess of the high school is now in the street. Cars are even in fire.

 

Naomi is sitting in her kitchen.

NAOMI’S MOTHER: You’ve noticed how quiet it is?

NAOMI: You kicked them out?

NAOMI’S MOTHER: Probably take a few days to clean the place, right? (Sitting) What did you want to talk to me about this morning?

NAOMI: Is anyone here?

NAOMI’S MOTHER: Just some man who seemed to think you wanted him back in my bed. He’s very entertaining for an Irishman.

NAOMI: It is peaceful.

NAOMI’S MOTHER: Yeah. Did I ever tell you how angry I was when I found out I was pregnant with you?

NAOMI: Is this going to cheer me up? Because I need cheering up, ok?

NAOMI’S MOTHER: I’m getting there. I’d met the man of my dreams. I wanted to travel the world, fuck on every beach in India, be in love, and then I found out I was pregnant.

NAOMI: I can only apologise.

NAOMI’S MOTHER: And you know, your dad turned out to be a shitty little prick, and it was all a little bit rubbish. Until you made my life complete. And actually, rather fucking wonderful.

NAOMI: I did that?

NAOMI’S MOTHER: I wasn’t expecting it. People who make us happy are never the people you expect. So, when you found someone, you’ve got to cherish it. (Kissing Naomi’s head) Right then. I’ve got an Irishman waiting for me, who says all he needs for happiness is regular sex and potatoes.

Naomi doesn’t move, still thinking.

 

She rings at Emily’s door.

EMILY: I’m not gonna open the door. My face is all puffy. I’ve been… crying a bit.

NAOMI: I don’t care. (She sits next to the door, Emily from her side, too) I do want someone. Need someone. You’re right.

EMILY: And?

NAOMI: And… when I’m with you, I feel like I’m a better person. I feel happier. Less… alone. Less lonely. (Emily takes her hand by the cat flap) But it’s not as simple as that, is it? Being with someone.

EMILY: Isn’t it?

NAOMI: No. I mean, I don’t know. I mean, I don’t think so. I mean… (Crying) Can’t we just sit like this… for a bit?

They interlace their hands together.

EMILY: Yeah. We can. For a bit.